How I learned to love my body and my self

Loving yourself is multifaceted. This is one of the changes I made to love myself.

Typically how I’d begin a weight loss diet in the past went like this...

"I hate how I look. I feel fat. I need to lose weight."

I think I’ll feel good at 125 lbs. If I’m 145 today that means I need to lose 20 lbs.

So I’d go online search for some diet of the day, get the groceries, and work at it for a week. I’d see some great results and then after a week or two I’d find myself struggling. I’d manage to lose about 7 lbs and then the last eight would take every ounce of willpower I had. Every ounce. And weeks and weeks.

I’d eventually meet my goal, feel pumped, celebrate, and in a few weeks be back at 145 again. It took me months to lose 20 lbs but only 2-3 weeks to gain it back!!!

Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

This mindset kept me trapped in constantly hating myself including my lack of willpower, lack of worth, and lack of accomplishment. I was never happy with my OWN self.

So I decided it was time for a change. Instead of changing my ‘diet plan’, I changed my mindset.

New approach...

“I feel unhealthy and low energy. I need to make a change.” (This time I don’t focus on how I look, but on how I feel.)

In my old mindset I used to start with this...how much weight do I need to lose to be 125 lbs - an arbitrary, set by ‘society, magazines, and movies’ number of measurement?

I changed that question. Now the question is this...What lifestyle am I willing to maintain to feel healthier with more energy - a measurement I determine which is not based on a number on a scale or dress size?

So I thought on this.

Well I like wine. I like cheese. I like pizza on Fridays. I don’t want to give that up to be 125 lbs. I don’t want to feel guilty or even call it my ‘treat’.

On the other side, I’m okay being disciplined and balancing that out with salads for lunch and smoothies for breakfast. I can do that.

After weeks, this lifestyle levels me out at 135 lbs.

Rather than being disappointed or frustrated I now say this....I ACCEPT ME AND LOVE ME AT 135 LBS.

Why??

Well first off, I’m loving the experience of eating. Loving it!!! No guilt!!! I’m no longer deprived...I set the lifestyle and foods I’m willing to accept.

Secondly, I realized my husband loves me equally the same at 125 lbs, 135 lbs, or 145 lbs. Seriously...he never rejects me. He never pulls away from me. He never stops saying I love you. He never says, “Gross, I can’t touch your stomach because it feels too fat.”

So I decided it was time to see myself through my husband’s eyes. Lenses he sees me through where he loves me for me - my inner beauty.

So I tossed out my old lenses of the ‘I only love myself at the ‘ideal’ 125 lb perfect body.’

With my new lenses, I love my life, I’m loved by my husband, and I finally love me. All of me.

Don’t pick a random number on the scale, force a lifestyle you aren’t willing to accept, and end up constantly feeling guilty, disappointed, and frustrated.

Instead, figure out what lifestyle you can maintain and then love that body it produces. All of it. Love your body and your lifestyle because it’s what you choose and what you dictate, not what a magazine tells you.